Finding A Dream
by Condor-K
Summary: Martin Rhodes desperately struggles to defeat the Johto league and become the trainer that he's expected to be by friends and family. Read about his hardship and the eventual decision of whether or not being a trainer is all it's cracked up to be.
1. Chapter 1

The fact that people watch my challenge isn't the most annoying part. Sure when I reach the point it becomes clear that I'll lose the fight, I'm no stranger to catcalls and jeers from some rowdy members of the small crowd in Goldenrod City's gym.

Today at least, the gym leader's reaction is the worst part, after our battle officially concludes and Whitney's pokémon, a miltank, stands victorious while I recall Magby from the battlefield. It's not arrogance in her face, and it's not exhilaration either, after defeating me for the third time Johto's normal-type gym leader has a face of pity, _pity!_ No other loss (and there have been many) has ever humiliated me as much.

I pay the mandatory fee for losing the challenge and leave the gym as soon as possible in case anymore onlookers plan to comment more on the battle. Before healing my team I decide to walk around Goldenrod City for a little while, trying to put my mind elsewhere, I peruse the afternoon for a distraction from my defeat. It comes walking out of the Goldenrod Radio Tower.

"Martin!" Alita Voss sees me walking and comes over, a smile on her face, "So…?"

"So what?" I knew what she was asking, I had told her yesterday I planned to challenge the gym around this time. I actually felt fairly confident yesterday about how the challenge would work out. She bought into it, wished me luck and everything, it's too bad that's not all it takes to win badges.

"Did you win?" her smile stayed firm as she spoke, and I immediately was disappointed in myself. If I had tried harder maybe, the smile could stay for a bit longer, but I lost, not as miserably as the last two times, but it didn't matter close I got if the end result is the same.

"Not exactly…" I trailed off reaching a hand behind my head, idly scratching the ends of my black hair and breaking eye contact.

_"Not exactly"?! You just admitted you lost, and you sounded like an idiot doing it! Smooth move Rhodes._ I was right, she wiped her smile off and brushed a strand of brown hair behind her ears. To onlookers we must have looked like idiots, staring at the ground and grasping for something to say in each other's company.

Luckily Alita broke the silence before I delivered another genius line, "Well it's still alright!" She looked up and my shoes suddenly became a lot less interesting to look at compared to her pale blue eyes. Looking back at the radio tower Alita offered "I just got off for lunch, do you want to come get something to eat with me?" I opted not to risk spitting out some more idiotic dialogue and just nodded at the invitation.

We ate together at a small restaurant not far from the Goldenrod Radio Tower, Alita helps the people who work there and enjoys talking about her experiences at the place, she loves being there despite her not actually earning a wage, (she's only thirteen like myself) it's entertaining to hear her speak so happily about it, and the conversation impedes me from thinking or talking about the gym battle. I know she's probably curious, but she's also smart enough not to make me recount my failure. Alita and I met soon after I came to Goldenrod City and quickly became friends, between her hanging out at the tower and my training we didn't see each other very often but it was still pleasant when we end up hanging out, it's too bad the circumstances couldn't be better.

Our meal ended and though she'd be late to getting back to her work, Alita wanted to accompany me on my way to the pokécenter for the healing of my two pokémon. I was glad she did. Nurse Joy took the pokéballs from me and I notice a familiar figure standing in front of the PC not too far away. "Oh no…" I grimace as the trainer finishes his task on PC a recognizes me.

Alita noticed the expression on my face and asked, "What's wrong?"

"Hey buddy!" Jerome Cailin saunters over with a self-satisfied smile and a voice dripping with sarcasm, he's no doubt heard of my challenge's results from someone who was watching the fight. Even though he's about a year younger than me, J.C. (as most people know him) still has a few inches over my wiry frame and right now he looks down with a grin the Cheshire Cat would be jealous of. "Tough break today, huh?" J.C. failed to hold back a snicker.

"I'm glad you're keeping up on current events." I looked away waiting for the nurse's return so I could leave. He pressed with his taunting and I could see Alita looking for a way to defuse the situation between us.

"To be honest, I was floored when I heard the news that your wooper and magby weren't enough!" Taking shots at my weak-looking pokémon was one of J.C.'s favored tactics. "It's okay though man," his laughter at my loss and sarcastic remarks weren't slowing down anytime soon, "like they always say, 'fourth time's the charm' right?"

When I first came to Goldenrod City a few months ago, J.C. was one of the first trainers I battled, suffice to say, I lost, that and my horrible track record in all battles is what sparked Jerome to go through this ritual of put-downs everytime he found me in public.

The kid hung around Alita and I, still trying to goad me into some sort of response. Even though she had pokémon, Alita didn't battle, she thought fights were a waste of time since she had no interest in becoming a pokémon trainer. She could really only look on as I resisted the urge to respond to J.C.

"Martin?" Nurse Joy called me over and I retrieved the two pokémon from her, happy to have them back and healthy.

J.C. takes the opportunity to ask, "Now that your punching bags are healthy again," he takes out one of his pokéballs as he speaks, "what do you say to a quick match? We'll just use one pokémon from our teams, I can't spend too much time giving out free lessons."

I think about it, sure at that point I had lost to J.C. twice, but I had also defeated him once, according to Jerome though, it was just luck. I thought to the training I had done in preparation for the day's battle. Not wanting to let all of that amount to what seemed like no progress for my pokémon and I, I decided to accept the challenge, I needed some proof that my training, that my trying to improve was actually amounting to something. Opening my mouth to accept his challenge I remembered Alita standing next to me. If I lost then it'd be a replay of my gym battle, except the pity would take over her face and not my opponent's. I looked at her and tried to ask permission without uttering a word, I didn't want to battle and force her to stick around for the result if she needed to return to the radio tower, or if she simply didn't want to see.

She nodded, J.C. grinned, I accepted, and the three of us walked out of the pokécenter. We battled in front of the Global Terminal which wasn't very crowded at the time. "Alright you ready now, bud?"

I chose my pokémon, the magby given to me by my father in place of a conventional starter. I drew the pokéball out and prepared to release my strongest pokémon. Jerome too chose which pokéball to use and readied for the fight. We released our partners, ready to battle against one another.

Magby cried out in response to his pokémon appearing, Elekid materialized and growled in return. The battle had begun and couldn't tell whether Alita or I was more nervous about the outcome.

"Start the battle Cumulo! Use quick attack!" It's speed didn't allow Magby any opportunity to even think about dodging. The battle had only just started and I was at a disadvantage already.

"Ember, Magby!" He turned swiftly and launched the fire move, connecting with J.C.'s Cumulo. Magby looked determined to win, where I got depressed about losses, he got mad, being defeated here didn't seem like an option for him.

"Shock wave, now!" The attack was slower than the last, and required time to charge. I seized the chance employed one of the few strategies at my disposal that won me battles.

"Smokescreen, don't let him hit!" Obscuring my enemy's vision and blasting it with ranged attacks was a strategy that usually worked in fights, unfortunately I forgot that the shock wave is an attack that can't miss, the mistake resulted in Magby taking a direct hit.

"Nice play Martin!" J.C. cackled at his own comedic genius. I shook it off and continued with the fight, trying to focus a bit more.

"Use smog Magby!" The thick gray smoke plumed from my pokémon and mingled with the black of my previous move. With the dangerous smoke there it was hard to tell whether or not the attack dealt damage but either way Cumulo was ordered out of the the large cloud of two different gases.

J.C. spoke another direction to his pokémon "Use swift this time!" Bright yellow stars materialized and were shot at Magby, giving him no time to dodge or stop the attack.

"Retaliate with fire spin!" A strand of vibrant flames are launched towards Cumulo encircling him in the painful blaze. I felt confident, the match was pretty even at this point, and I was certain that there was at least a chance I could win against him.

With physical attacks out of the question now that his partner was surrounded by flames. I had forced the pokémon to only use special attacks, unless J.C. was willing to risk Cumulo taking greater damage than he was already sustaining. "Quick attack, Cumulo!" I guess it was the latter then, and though the flames slowed the pokémon down, and it pained him to do so, the elekid landed his attack and the two combatants stood, backs facing each other.

I ended the silence with a command, the battle was at it's conclusion and I knew the next attack would decide the winner and I took the initiative, "Use ember and this fight, Magby!" He turned and reared his head back to launch the small flames for our first victory in a while, but was unable to spit the attack out. At that point I noticed small bolts of electricity running through my partner's body. "Crap," I muttered under my breath, ever since our first battle, Cumulo's Static ability had been an annoyance and today's match turned out to be no exception.

"Ha! My strategy paid off! I knew paralyzing your wimp of a pokémon would ensure me the win, and man was I right!" J.C. smiled triumphantly, and I looked over to see Alita's face and find what was present there. I had been right, the same look Goldenrod City's gym leader had given me, an expression of pity was clear, and my humiliation before didn't compare to what I felt now. "Now let's actually finish this fight, Cumulo, shock wave!"

I waited for the inevitable bolt of electricity to deliver my second loss of the day. Elekid turned around now to face my magby and charged it's attack, the lightning coursed back and forth between the prongs on it's head in preparation. "Ele-ki..." Cumulo's attack, didn't launch, instead of a vicious electric attack striking my pokemon elekid crumpled to ground incapacitated and clearly unable to fight.

"WHAT?!" I was thinking along the same lines, but J.C. yelled it out and ran to his pokémon's side examining him. I walked towards mine as well to see if he was still alright. Upon learning the battle was over, Magby fell back to lay down, clearly drained after the contest, he'd need another trip to the center after this.

Returning Magby to his pokéball, J.C. laughed a bit and did the same with Elekid. "You've got to be the luckiest…" his sentence trailed off and he shook his head. "Flame body, huh? I'm not sure which attack did it but at some point, Magby burned Cumulo. Looks like the damage was enough to do him in." I was pretty surprised, I of course knew Magby had the ability, but I didn't even notice it take effect during the fight. "Not bad, getting lucky twice against me in a battle is pretty impressive." Starting to protest, I realized it was just luck, I didn't have any sort of strategy to utilize the ability, I was just fortunate it activated.

As J.C. walked away from his loss with his injured pokémon the small crowd that had gathered to watch the fight slowly dispersed and I searched among them for Alita. We saw each other and she rushed over, the pity replaced with a bright smile now, thankfully. She congratulated me on the win and I invited her to walk with me to the center again for Magby to now be healed a second time in the afternoon. "No thanks, I'm late as it is to getting back to the tower. We should definitely meet up again though, next time on purpose."

I smiled at her, "Sounds like a plan, I'll see you then!" We waved goodbye and I walked away from the site of my victory. I began to stroll around town again, instead of self-loathing though, I was confident and happy in myself. Before finally turning towards the pokécenter I glanced over at the Goldenrod City Gym.

_I'll beat that gym, and all others that follow it,_ I thought to myself then, _even if wasn't today, and even if it isn't tomorrow, I'll definitely catch up to you, Valentine._


	2. Chapter 2

I had been training everyday now for a week since my battle with J.C. I was more anxious than ever now to win against Whitney. All I had been doing was thinking of how to beat her, no trainer had posed this great a challenge to me and I wasn't going to back down easily. The challenge drove me to push my pokémon to their limits during training. I had considered getting a third for my team, but having to train another pokémon to be obedient and battle-ready would take too much time, I wanted to win, but more importantly, I wanted to win now. There was no time for slacking or slouching, I had to get past this city and move on with my journey, there wasn't time for much else, including my rendezvous with Alita.

It's not that I didn't want to see her, but this time I knew I would win, or at least that I should, after three losses I felt entitled to a victory. So meeting her, there would be a sense of finality to it, at least for me there would be. Eventually I decided I'd meet her the night before my gym challenge like I did last time. I told her that just before she stepped into the Radio Tower and she agreed smiling, I had a six days until we'd meet again and my battle would be in a single week. Seven days for training in the wild, for observing Whitney's other battles, and for preparing to leave Goldenrod City and progress towards the end of my pokémon journey.

J.C. made sure to keep his distance from me, I'm sure he bragged about how I only beat him through sheer luck, but if he lost again then I'd have a winning record against him, the self-proclaimed "Rookie-Champion of Goldenrod City" he was dishonest as he was conceited. In fact the guy hadn't even embarked on any kind of journey despite being two years past the time most trainers did so.

When the night came I waited outside the radio tower where we planned to meet. I tugged at my shirt's collar, I figured it was nice to put something on besides my scuffed up training gear, but it seemed my only nice shirt had gotten a little small, even the blue sleeves struggled to reach my wrists, at least my khakis still fit me. I saw Alita exit the building and walked over, we said hello and began walking. Our conversation droned about nothing, and we had nothing planned for the early evening, she just took me for what I hoped would be the last time I saw Goldenrod City.

We ended up by the water and a sunset appeared, framing the cheesy scene between us. "Wow," she breathed out, "I could see this every day, and never get tired of it." She stared out smiling at the horizon.

"I'm pretty glad I won't have to see anymore after tomorrow." I smiled out towards the orange sky, oblivious to Alita's quiet hand wiping a tear away.

"You know," she started saying, "each gym leader, they only get harder after this one. You don't have to go any further than here."

I could see where she was going, trying to protect me from being crushed under the pressure, she wasn't the first to deter me from my journey for the same reason. "Don't worry about me, I'm determined to beat the league, no matter how hard it ends up being." I turned to face her, my broad smile meeting with her furious expression.

"Right, that's what I..." she trailed off and shook the anger from her face, then under her breath, "You're so selfish."

"What's that supposed to mean?!" I was completely lost, and had no idea why she was mad at me. "It's my dream to become the champion! How is it selfish to follow it?" I now looked deeply into her, trying to glean an answer from her expression, her actions, and it dawned on me, a revelation so unbelievably obvious I was abashed to be so oblivious to it. She wanted me to stay for her sake and not mine. I felt like a complete dolt when all I could breathe out was, "Oh..."

Alita looked down, then at me, then away once again before saying, "Yeah well, good luck I guess." She didn't mean it in the slightest, and if I was leaving the next day I didn't want this lie to be the last words she spoke to me. Though before I got the chance to fix the damage I had done she spoke again, "You know, Martin, there can only be one champion, and it's not going to be you." Instead of the goodbye I wanted, she walked away and the truth ended up hurting a lot more.

* * *

"Martin! There can only be one champion, and it's not going to be you!" Another girls voice yells the same words at me, before I had even started my pokémon journey.

I smiled at Valentine Ayers, my best friend for years, a girl who dreamed of being pokémon champion. At the time she said this we were starting our journey, it was her tenth birthday and though mine had been two months earlier I chose to wait for her to get her starter (a cyndaquil) before I left New Bark Town.

My father gave me a magby as my own starter, hatched from an egg from his own magmortar. When he was a child my father had been a great trainer, and he passed the dream down to me through his pokémon. I was nothing short of ecstatic to start my journey and now I finally could.

When Valentine said those words to me I took them as a challenge, an invitation to be her rival, and to travel Johto battling with her. I didn't know how things would turn out when our travels started. Valentine was a prodigy, smoking trainers left and right, wrecking gyms, and of course steamrolling over me when we fought. I had liked her for so long, and not only as a friend, but now she became something else. When battling, Valentine was someone totally different, she was merciless, intelligent, and way out of my league, in more respects than one.

At our first gym Valentine won of course, but I lost, meaning I had to remain in the town until I could become strong enough to win. To Valentine it meant I was a delay and a hindrance, a minor obstacle in between her and destiny, and as with all others in her way, she eliminated me, and left Violet City by herself.

I figured that I was only held back slightly and that I could quickly catch up to her, but she was never slowed down and I only fell further behind her. Our calls to each other became more and more infrequent as she moved forward and I struggled to keep moving, facing hardship at every turn to catch up as she effortlessly battled her way through the league.

My lack of battling talent not only created a rift between Valentine and I, but also my dad gradually became more and more disheartened at the fact his child wouldn't carry on his dream of defeating the Elite Four like he never could. It seemed every update I gave only made the situation worse, no matter what the news was, it acted as a reminder that his son was a failure. It did the same for me too.

The journey turned from one of excitement and opportunity, to an adventure filled with stress and despair and all the while I continued to work in the hopes that I would drastically improve, or have some sort of breakthrough that would allow me to become the trainer that I wanted to be. But that never happened, and the horrid journey continued until Goldenrod City, where I had yet to win my third gym badge.

* * *

After the abrupt ending to our, whatever the hell it ended up being, I thought about everything that had happened so far. I thought that I could win the gym battle this time, but even so, I didn't know what I'd do after that, all that lied ahead were five more gyms each even more difficult. They would be truly difficult, but even if I beat all eight of them, I'd have to face the Elite Four, and then the champion, who could end up being Valentine herself.

If I continued, and battled until there was no possible way to continue, I could go home knowing I gave it everything I had. My father would probably approve of that and though I would probably never be as good as her, I could at least be able to say that I tried to match with Valentine, and my days as a trainer would be an accomplishment for me.

My other option would be to avoid the hardship and despair of battling. I'd be able to stop doing something that I clearly didn't like and continue on with my life otherwise. But if I did so, it would just be considered the same as giving up, right?

I contemplated deep into the night. I thought, and eventually made up my mind, that I'd decide later. Regardless of what decision I made, my battle with Whitney was planned to take place the next day and from there I'd choose, the future of my journey.


End file.
